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BS. Stop limiting yourself. Stop telling yourself what you can't do.

AdmiralKird wrote:BS. Stop limiting yourself. Stop telling yourself what you can't do.

If you say so. I'm pretty familiar with what I can and can't do at this point, and I've accepted that.

But folks have had enough of these sorts of threads of mine that I've posted in the past, so I'm trying not to go there.

Cronos wrote:

cardsfansince82 wrote:Cronos- What's your definition of what constitutes a relationship? I think that's an important distinction to make here.

If I may ask: why do you ask?

I'm not so sure I want to do that as I'm pretty sure that almost everyone defines relationships differently and that might turn this thread into many different directions.

That's true and I don't mean to pry too much into your private life if you don't want to, so I understand if you don't want to reply beyond this. You mentioned that you've had several relationships end this way so it made me wonder.

In my eyes, you can go on multiple dates with someone and/or spend a lot of time with them before it really becomes a relationship. There's a feeling out process that has to occur. I know you've mentioned using online dating before and I would think it's especially true in that. Part of the appeal to using online dating for women is that they can limit how much they expose themselves to you (cue up the jokes) until they are ready, as opposed to dating someone you already know in some way and are forced to have to address things in person. Breaking up with someone via email is probably pretty common. Don't beat yourself up or feel "dumped" if you aren't making it to that second/third/fourth date with someone you like. To bastardize what haltz said, you liked them more than they liked you. Figure out what, if anything, can be learned and move on. Sometimes there's nothing you could have done. Keep at it and eventually you'll meet someone who likes you the same as you like them. That's when I feel like I'm in a relationship.

Cronos wrote:
Not sure what you mean. In a relationship, women hold all the power.

You're doing it wrong.

Oh my gosh cronos I just read the entire thread. I am sorry.

Re: Power. Haltz said it best. The one that cares the least holds the 'power' in that they can walk away without getting hurt. That's not really power, it's a lack of interest.

Re: Can't pick up girls. That's bs. You have the body of a St. Louis god, are well educated and will be a good partner. From what I can tell, you're probably what an 's' type personality on the DiSC graph and those personalities are proven to make the best husbands/wives. So you've got that going for you.

Re: The way you go about everything. I really think you're doing it wrong in that you're not being yourself. If you are trying to define things from the get go, as everyone else has said, that's not good. When you go out with someone you should just talk about normal things. Like what kind of food you like, what you like to do in your spare time, where she's from, what she does, etc etc etc. Don't start talking about how even if you mess up, you want feed back and want to communicate with her well. that [expletive] should come without it being said. Some people don't like to verbalize everything w strangers. And if it doesn't come naturally, there's nothing you cna do to fix it rather you just need to move on.

Last but certainly not least, have fun. I don't know if you get nervous or not, a little bit is normal, but even though like 90% of first dates/relationships suck, it can still be fun to meet new people. Go get a drink and get her drunk/drink a little bit yourself and enjoy it. There's no laws/rules/etc.

P.S. girls would much rather go meet you for a drink than for dinner. The reason being? After one drink they can leave...which is usually about 5 minutes into it. Dinner takes an hour or more and can be boring as [expletive]. this should be your attitude as well. Give them a drink or two to impress you. If you don't like them, make up some bs lie and get the [expletive] out. You don't have to get a life story and background to know if you are going to be able to fall in love with someone.

If nothing else, I know how to kill a thread.

I prefer the passive-aggressive approach to the aggressive-aggressive approach.

What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

cardsfansince82 wrote:

Cronos wrote:

cardsfansince82 wrote:Cronos- What's your definition of what constitutes a relationship? I think that's an important distinction to make here.

If I may ask: why do you ask?

I'm not so sure I want to do that as I'm pretty sure that almost everyone defines relationships differently and that might turn this thread into many different directions.

That's true and I don't mean to pry too much into your private life if you don't want to, so I understand if you don't want to reply beyond this. You mentioned that you've had several relationships end this way so it made me wonder.

In my eyes, you can go on multiple dates with someone and/or spend a lot of time with them before it really becomes a relationship. There's a feeling out process that has to occur. I know you've mentioned using online dating before and I would think it's especially true in that. Part of the appeal to using online dating for women is that they can limit how much they expose themselves to you (cue up the jokes) until they are ready, as opposed to dating someone you already know in some way and are forced to have to address things in person. Breaking up with someone via email is probably pretty common. Don't beat yourself up or feel "dumped" if you aren't making it to that second/third/fourth date with someone you like. To bastardize what haltz said, you liked them more than they liked you. Figure out what, if anything, can be learned and move on. Sometimes there's nothing you could have done. Keep at it and eventually you'll meet someone who likes you the same as you like them. That's when I feel like I'm in a relationship.

++

G. Keenan wrote:Stop being your own worst enemy. Just do your thing. Be yourself. Don't be afraid to assert your desires and tell them what you want and what you're thinking. If they aren't into that, fine. Next.

Best advice in this thread.