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So for the second time in like four days someone has said some absolutely racist [expletive] to my face. The first was a joke. Whatever. It wasn't funny and I didn't know the person. I just walked away.

This last one just happened and really pissed me off. My grandmother's latest husband wanted to drive around St. Louis because they're in town for some reason. So we eat at Blues City by my house, drive towards the city by Union Station, the ballpark, landing, arch and all that stuff when he decides to go north up the river from downtown. I tell him it's not the best part of town but he wants to see it.

Anyway, I don't really know him, but the time I met him I got a really bad vibe. Basically just what he had to say about Obama and lower-income people not contributing to society etc. So I figured this wouldn't end well, however I was stuck in the backseat of the car.

I'll spare you what he actually said, but it ended with me telling him that his commentary on the run-down buildings and people walking along the street was incredibly offensive and to basically STFU when he tried to rationalize it. My mom and grandmother (also in the car) were pretty taken aback and my mom actually started crying. So now he's sitting downstairs and I'm just trying to ignore him so I don't say something I'll regret (well, I don't think I'd regret it, but he's married to my grandmother now).

I don't understand why people think this is OK. Has he just acted this way for his entire adult life and no one's called him on it until now? Is my grandmother OK with this? If it's because I'm white that infuriates me. I'm so pissed right now.

What is the correct way to respond to this sort of thing? On the one hand, forceful denunciation is clearly the right thing, but on the other hand, it's basically pointless. In summary, I am a coward.

Arthur Dent wrote:What is the correct way to respond to this sort of thing? On the one hand, forceful denunciation is clearly the right thing, but on the other hand, it's basically pointless. In summary, I am a coward.

I have no idea. It's just a [expletive] up situation. I remember being upset as it was building up that I hadn't said something, so I finally did when it got really bad.

I should clarify that I didn't upset my mom and grandmother, he did.

No he's downstairs trying to bring up politics. I need to walk to the bar or something.

Tell him if he makes one more comment you're going to throw him out on the street in north city.

The Twilight Zone movie had the opening story where the racist-fascist-xenophobe pig starts ranting in a bar, gets drunk, and stumbles outside into an alternate world where he's a Jew in Nazi Germany, then a Viet Cong refugee in 'Nam, and then a black man caught in a lynching. He gets to experience all the senseless hatred he espouses.

Sounds like your uncle could use this.

I've found that the older generation is pretty open, or at least more open, about racist views than their children or grandchildren. I don't know if it's just because it was more accepted or what. Of course, at least with them, you know how they feel. Having talked to so many minorities about racism, most would rather know than not know.

The city I live in is very racist. The problem is that the minorities in town really don't know who is racist and who isn't.

BW23 wrote:I've found that the older generation is pretty open, or at least more open, about racist views than their children or grandchildren. I don't know if it's just because it was more accepted or what. Of course, at least with them, you know how they feel. Having talked to so many minorities about racism, most would rather know than not know.

The city I live in is very racist. The problem is that the minorities in town really don't know who is racist and who isn't.

Agreed. Racism is one of the elephants in the room no one talks about when we should talk about it more.

BW23 wrote:The problem is that the minorities in town really don't know who is racist and who isn't.

No minority would've heard the [expletive] I heard, which is part of what pissed me off on a minor level, however the problem is people with attitudes like his. There's no "at least he comes out and says it" about this. That's [expletive].

I never say anything.

I remember once I was riding with the vice president and owner of the company I used to work for and the VP kept talking about all the "monkeys" that were at the club last night (that he had gone to).

Everyone chuckled except me. But what was I going to do? They signed my paycheck.

Kill them with kindness. Trite, I know but as long as you're boiling pissed you're probably not going to do the right thing or come across as anything more than an individual with your own set of issues.